BLACK RAIN (1989)
“Just hope they got a nip in this building who speaks fucking English…”
Director: Ridley Scott
Writers: Craig Bolotin, Warren Lewis
Cinematography: Jan de Bont
Editor: Tom Rolf
Music: Hans Zimmer
Notable Cast: Michael Douglas, Andy Garcia, Kate Capshaw, Ken Takakura, Yusaku Matsuda, John Spencer, Luis Guzman, Stephen Root, Richard Riehle
Ridley Scott. Fuck, man. This guy is the definition of a journeyman director. He has no themes, no overarching motifs, a mere hired hand. When you think of filmmakers like Mann, Lynch, Cronenberg, Ferrara, Stone, you see a master at work exploring themes that resonate throughout their ouvre. Aside from being a good visualist, Ridley Scott has none of that.
True to his nature as a commercial director for soulless corporations hellbent on subjugating our minds, he’s an empty suit.
He sucks, is what I am trying to say.
People seem to love him. That’s okay, the cattle need their slop, but for my money, he is a pretty awful filmmaker. Prolific, but awful. You remember some pretty images from his films, but nothing dramatic, nothing that truly hits emotionally, or makes you cry. He’s a hack, much like David Fincher, another favorite of the cattle.
In my mind, he’s only made a couple of good films, Alien, and the film we’re here to discuss today. I liked parts of 1492: Conquest of Paradise (particularly the shot of the fog rising to reveal dry land, that shit is dope), but it never really comes together. Shit, just looking at his IMDb and I’m scrolling and scrolling, just repeating “Jesus fucking Christ” in my head at the absolute garbage on display.
One of the surest signs of a midwit dumb fuck is love of Gladiator. One’s opinion on everything can be immediately dismissed if you list that as one of the great films. It’s such a moron’s idea of a great movie.
But enough of that shit, I hate ragging on films. We’re here to discuss the last time Ridley Scott gave a shit and made a decent flick, way way way back in the 1980’s.
Black Rain is a truly entertaining, but utterly ridiculous, cop out of water/mismatched buddy cop flick that reeks of the decade it was made in the most glorious way possible, starring Michael Douglas sporting a hilarious mullet, playing against type as a gruff, hard as nails, slightly corrupt detective. It shouldn’t work, but it does, like gangbusters.
But could you tell in the 1ST 5 Minutes? Let’s find out…
1ST 5 MINUTES
This may be the first film where the very first shot is my Favorite Shot in the whole film. A red screen. We slowly pull back to reveal it’s a giant red circle, like on the Japanese flag, except set against black, the title, written vertically, in the center of the red circle. Greg Allman’s classic, cheesy, fantastic, down tempo 80’s rock ballad, I’ll Be Holding On, fades up on the soundtrack.
The image of the red sun slowly dissolves into the giant World’s Fair globe in Fresh Meadows Park in Queens, NY on a shitty, overcast day. Douglas, as Detective Nick Conklin, roars into the frame on his motorcycle, riding towards the globe. YES! How fucking great is this opening? The photography, the music, amazing shit.
The song continues into the next shot, Douglas riding over the 59th Street bridge into Manhattan (makes no sense the way they set all this up. It’s established soon after this that Nick lives right next to this bridge (at Silvercup Studios, natch, made famous by Highlander). Hilarious he could afford an apartment with such a sick view. But be that as it may, Fresh Meadows Park is NOWHERE near this bridge. Why the fuck would he go all the way to Fresh Meadows just to come right back and go to work. So he could get the dope shot with the dissolve? Hilarious. But only if you live in NY. No one else would notice this).
He ends up in the city, by the water, under an overpass where some other bikers are assembled, among them, Luis Guzman, in a hilariously overdubbed role as a guy who bets on Nick to win a race against some young hotshot. I love movie conceits like this. “Let’s race for money!” Ok, fine, but where are you racing to? Where’s the finish line? Guzman bets 50 on Nick, who holds that bet? Absolutely hilarious.
Nick (Douglas) and the young biker race along the waterfront in an okay little sequence that just begs the question, hey, will Nick’s motorcycle skills come into play later, perhaps at a very pivotal moment, like the climax? (Spoiler alert: FUCK YES IT DOES!) It’s the Chekov’s Gun of motorcycle races.
The other biker wipes out, whereby “losing” the race. Irate, he goes up to Nick and yells he’s a real wacko, then reluctantly pulls an uncounted wad of bills from his pocket and shoves it in Nick’s hand before racing off. No word on whether Guzman gets the 50 he bet on Nick.
That does it for the 1ST 5 Minutes of Black Rain. Motorcycle chase was whatever, ridiculous, though fun, like most of this movie, but the dope opening transition combined with the amazingly cheesy Allman tune as Douglas rides into the city with the sun peeking through the clouds behind him is what I am here for.
No way am I taking this shit off.
The rest of the flick
The backdrop for the film is that Nick is currently under investigation by Internal Affairs for possible corruption and being on the take, i.e. robbing criminals of their cash. What I like about this rather hoary cliché is that it’s revealed later, by Nick himself, that he actually was on the take! While this is definitely a very Hollywood movie, very studio and by the book, it does find some nice shades you don’t normally find.
While I love Douglas, this flick belongs to Andy Garcia. He is absolutely electric in the role of Charlie Vincent, Nick’s partner, and lights up every scene he is in, so much so that when he dies mid-film, some of the air is let out of the picture, and it sort of limps to the end.
His first scene is fantastic, and perfectly sets his entire character up. The interplay between Garcia and Douglas is fantastic throughout. Garcia gives the character some nice shades, where you can see he is young and idealistic, but still a realist, as he understands Nick and the other cops being on the take, even if he himself would not do it. He never judges Nick, and supports him 100%.
It’s one of Garcia’s best roles, and you can see why he became so hot at the time, between this, The Untouchables and Internal Affairs, he had that “it” factor. Unfortunately, he never really lived up to that early promise and fell off pretty quickly through a series of terrible choices in projects. It’s the old “if that guy was drafted by a different team, he’d have been a star” type shit.
But man, in those early days, especially Internal Affairs and this, wow, he was something else. Electric.
It's not for nothing that he is featured in my Favorite Scene, where he is taunted into chasing some Yakuza guy on a motorbike, only to be summarily executed by the main bad guy, Sato, played brilliantly by the late, great Yusaku Matsuda, with a fucking mini sword!
It’s a fantastic sequence, the tension slowly rising as we see the trap being laid. Great shit. Douglas’s desperation here is palpable as he is helpless and can only watch his partner be brutally beheaded right in front of his eyes. Very effective. That shot of Charlie’s head leaving his body is amazing. Incredibly upsetting. RIP, Charlie Vincent.
And can you please just listen to Hans Zimmer’s absolutely brilliant score in that scene? Talk about a young phenom, Hans Zimmer took the soundtrack world by storm in the late 1980’s, and as a certified soundtrack nut, his scores featured prominently in my mix tape rotation back then, none more so than Black Rain, the apotheosis of his early style before he descended into utter shite in the 21st century.
A true score for the ages, I can pop it on if I’m just puttering around the house, or driving at night, it’s dynamite, and perfectly puts you back in the mood of the film. Very evocative, propulsive, memorable score, that I believe had a cue that was featured in several trailers back in the 90’s. Zimmer was so fucking good back then.
Check out his very underrated and nearly unknown score for mountain climbing movie, K2. I remember putting that shit on in my headphones before going out to shovel snow back when I was a teenager. It’s such a cliché but you just don’t know at the time that you’re living through your golden age. Those years were some of the best years of my life. And it’s hard to disentangle the nostalgia I feel for this film and this score in particular when looking at the picture.
It’s why I really don’t recommend Black Rain to people, because I think it’s fairly ridiculous when looked at objectively, but I fucking love it and I’ll defend it as Ridley Scott’s best movie till the day I croak.
One thing that cannot be denied is the crackling dialogue featured in this movie. Douglas gets the absolute best lines in the picture, none more so than when their Japanese police liaison, Masa, played brilliantly by Ken Takakura in another incredible bit of casting by Scott, goes behind Douglas’s and Garcia’s backs to rat them out to his boss for perceived theft (again going back to the theme that Douglas is corrupt).
Douglas goes right up to Masa, and says my Favorite Line in the film and maybe one of my favorite lines of all time. I use it in my daily life constantly.
“I usually get kissed, before I get fucked.”
How fucking great is that? I could list ten other lines that are almost as good, that’s how next level this script gets.
Credit to Craig Bolotin and Warren Lewis for coming up with this shit.
The plot of the film itself is very basic and pretty throwaway.
What I appreciate are different little choices that stand out. Take the first meeting between Nick and Sato after Sato murders that Japanese guy in the Italian restaurant.
In most movies, they’d have the big chase, but then Sato would get away and abscond to Japan, where Nick then flies to try and capture him, but no, here he actually captures Sato, escorts him to Japan, where he is then fooled by fake cops.
I like the way it plays out. The scene between Sato and Nick on the plane is great, capped by Nick giving Sato an elbow to the face. Matsuda is so good in this role.
One unfortunate aspect that doesn’t really work is the half baked romance between Nick and some nightclub hostess, played by Kate Capshaw. Though she proves helpful, her character and side plot are boring and unbelievable.
And talk about unbelievable, we have a hilarious use of “movie time” here where, after Charlie is killed, Masa is devastated, like he lost a lifelong friend. And because of the film’s structure, the moment feels genuine. But thinking about it for half a second and you realize he only knew Charlie maybe 3 days, max, before he bought it. And yet Masa has a shrine to the guy in his fucking house? Hilarious shit. Makes no sense, but somehow works. Like a lot of this film when you think about it.
The end fight at a winery or some shit is fine, we get the promised Chekov’s Motorcycle Chase foreshadowed in the opening, and another nice twist where the supposedly corrupt Nick actually spares Sato’s life and brings him in alive. It’s a nice moment, accompanied perfectly by Zimmer’s pipe heavy score.
We then get another forced emotional scene when Masa says goodbye to Nick at the airport, after what, maybe 6 days, 7 max, and they’re parting almost like they were years long lovers, complete with Masa biting his bottom lip in affection and Douglas giving a gigantic grin and a thumbs up that the picture actually fades out on!!! How fucking amazing and hilarious is that?
This is not a great movie, but it is very fun and very entertaining, and that’s all you can really ask for when plopping down your 10 bucks. Doesn’t hurt that the acting, score and dialogue are next level.
Black Rain is the best movie Ridley Scott has ever made. If you think Black Rain stinks, that is an indictment of Scott. And if you think any of his other films are better, you’re nuts. This is his most complete, non-boring film, and it looks fantastic.
Some of the wide shots of the Japanese streets at night could be framed and put on your wall. I want to bite them they’re so juicy and vivid. And even though we don’t get to Japan till nearly the second act, we know right in the 1ST 5 Minutes this is going to be a fun 80’s action flick, and boy is it ever.
The One Sheet
How great is this poster? I had this on my wall for a few years when I lived in Los Angeles. I just love it. And it all starts with Douglas’s mullet. Insane they thought that looked tough back then, as I distinctly remember AT THE TIME thinking he looked ridiculous with that hair, sweater turtleneck and oversized black leather jacket (this is a fantastic article about Douglas’s outfits in the film).
I was only 14 and I knew it was cheesy as hell. Fucking bonkers. But I really like the colors here, the composition. The tagline is typical 80’s BS like “this cop has his own rules!” Hilarious.
And amazing.
What can I say? I love this kind of shit.
And that does it for the 1ST 5 Minutes of Black Rain.
A curious thing about the film is the inclusion of the late, great John Spencer as Nick’s boss at the Manhattan precinct (fucking love the whole scene with the “IAB suits,” played by the great Stephen Root and Richard Riehle).
If you remember, in 1989’s Sea of Love, the same fucking year as Black Rain, John Spencer ALSO played Al Pacino’s boss at the Manhattan precinct. In my mind, these films, despite having very different looks, take place in the same universe.
Shit, Pacino’s Frank and Douglas’s Nick may even go out for drinks together! Pretty sure no one else thinks this or has even noticed, but it is weirdly enough one of my favorite things about Black Rain.
Spencer was such a good actor, what a mainstay of my youth. But West Wing can fuck a stick.
See you in two bento boxes…