THE NEW CENTURIONS (1972)
“It doesn’t pay to get too comfortable on the street…”
Director: Richard Fleischer
Writer: Stirling Silliphant, based on Joseph Wambaugh’s novel
Cinematography: Ralph Woolsey
Editor: Robert C. Jones
Music: Quincy Jones
Notable Cast: George C. Scott, Stacy Keach, Clifton James, Scott Wilson, Jane Alexander, Rosalind Cash, Erik Estrada, James Sikking, Ed Lauter, William Atherton, Isabel Sanford, Dolph Sweet, Roger E. Mosley, Kitten Natividad, Stefan Gierasch
I’m a huge fan of George C. Scott. I love the way he looks, I love the way he talks, and I love the way he acts. But despite being a big fan of him, personally, I can’t really say the same about his film selection. He’s one of those guys that just worked his ass off, and as a consequence, starred in a lot of shitty projects. He’s still imminently watchable even in second or third tier films like The Hospital or Hardcore, but they generally fail his enormous talents.
No, when I think of George C. Scott, only three films really come to mind, well, two films and the opening of a third. And like with Abel Ferrara and Michael Mann, my father is the one who introduced me to all three films.
The opening of Patton, with Scott standing in front of a gigantic American flag pontificating about war and the good old U.S. of A., is the gold standard for film monologues. He commands the screen like no other. No fancy shots or editing or music, just an actor in costume going balls to the wall. One of the best openings ever, but the film itself is merely okay. I don’t love it, but I do love that opening.
The first film that pops into my head when I think of Scott is is turn as the brilliant, goofy, tough General “Buck” Turgidson in Stanley Kubrick’s magnum opus to the military industrial complex, Dr. Strangelove. Hard, nee impossible, to overstate how good Scott is in this role. It’s a comedic masterclass.
When one thinks of George C. Scott and that intensity, that face, you don’t think of comedy, but goddamn if the dude isn’t a marvelous comedian, brilliantly showcased in Kubrick’s film. No one chews gum like Gen. Turgidson. It’s seriously one of the best, most enjoyable performances I have ever seen. Perfect in every way.
And speaking of perfection, my absolute favorite George C. Scott film is not even a “real” film, but a made for TV joint! Yes, friends, I am talking about Scott’s truly stellar turn as Mr. Bah Humbug himself, Ebenezer Scrooge, in Clive Donner’s A Christmas Carol, easily the best TV movie ever made in the history of television. This flick looks expensive. Fuck TV, even for the cinema this is a very high-end production with a stellar cast (Angela Pleasance, Edward Woodward, David Warner, Susannah York, Roger Rees, Michael Gough) all led by Scott’s genius portrayal of Scrooge. It’s definitive. None of the other adaptations compare to this film.
When the Ghost of Christmas Future visits Scrooge it is genuinely scary. Same with the visit by Marley. Sure, I was 9 when I saw this originally, and that experience has stayed with me all these years, but even now, as a middle aged shlump, the flick is highly effective. And it all starts with Scott, who plays the breadth of this man’s life and choices with enormous wit and empathy.
His turn to kindness at the end is “earned,” as they say, and you feel the joy of his repentance right along with him. It’s amazing and heartfelt and a mainstay at my house when Christmas comes around. We watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, Elf and George C. as Scrooge every year. And I shall do so until the day I die.
So, it was odd when I powered up my Firestick and it was recommending I watch a film called The New Centurions, featuring a thumbnail image of George C. Scott as a cop firing a pistol. What the hell is this? I clicked on it to get a description and it was about 1970’s Los Angeles beat cops, starring not only George C., but Clifton James, Scott Wilson, Jane Alexander, Rosalind Cash, Erik Estrada, James Sikking, Ed Lauter, William Atherton, Isabel Sanford, Dolph Sweet, Roger E. Mosley, and porn vixen Kitten Natividad?
HUH?
That’s an insanely good cast. How the fuck have I never heard of this film? But more importantly, how did my retired cop father, who LOVED a good cop movie, never mention this flick? I’m always game for a good down and dirty 70’s cop flick, but the lack of notice from my father was a huge red flag. He loved George C. Scott, loved cop movies, but never once mentioned this one? Maybe he missed it?
Who knows, but it was worth a look, at least for 5 minutes…
1ST 5 MINUTES
Note: There are exactly ZERO clips of this flick online, save the trailer, so you’ll just have to trust me here…
First thing we see is the dope old Columbia Pictures logo which immediately segues into shots of cadets training at the Police Academy, Stacy Keach among them. Amazing to think the suits back then thought Keach was a real leading man.
He’s not that good looking, he’s got that hare lip, his name is fucking STACY, and his acting is whatever, adequate, I guess, but he’s got no charisma, no screen presence, he’s not a STAR! So, him being the nominal “star” of this film is a huge red flag.
I like the way this opening sequence is shot, with no music, just the diagetic sound of the drill instructors and the cadets going through their tasks. There’s also some nice zooms mixed in as well. We’re definitely in the 70’s!
As we see these shots, the credits play over them, and then some marching music starts, and we see the cadets at the ceremony where they become policemen. Which then cuts to a room full of cops, getting their marching orders from their commanding officer or whoever does that roll call shit with cops before they go out on their shift.
And who plays the CO but none other than Dolph fucking Sweet, who kids of the 80’s would recognize as the dad from Gimme A Break with Nell Carter. Amongst the cops getting their orders, are an amazing cast of actors. Ed Lauter, Scott Wilson, Clifton James, Erik Estrada, and the man himself, George C. Scott.
But immediately something is wrong. The writing just isn’t that sharp, at all. The back and forth and joking around feels off, too sanitized, and even… artificial. I like my cop movies on the darker side, usually, so this light tone right up front is a huge flashing warning sign. This scene should be a great place setter for all these characters and a real jumping off point for the story, and it’s not. In the least.
Are they really going to waste this cast? Hard to believe.
The officers are dismissed and Keach and Scott, who are partners (though in a confusing twist they seem to have a different partner at different times, and there is no rhyme or reason for it. Is that how it was in L.A.? In NYC, your partner was your partner, but in the L.A. of this movie, your partner can change nightly. Weird…), go to get the shotgun for their squad car, with Scott’s character, Kilvinski (great name), flirting and joking around with the female property clerk. Again, this is meant to set up his character as an easygoing type, and I’m sorry, but when I watch a movie featuring this great, intense, deeply committed actor, I don’t want him playing some easygoing type of guy, especially not a cop, and doubly especially not a cop in 1970’s Los Angeles! Fuck!
And that wraps up the 1ST 5 Minutes of The New Centurions. Not a great start, and honestly, if not for George C., I’d most likely take this off. It has to get better, no?
The rest of the flick
That would be a resounding NO! It does not get better (unlike being a gay teen). It gets worse! There’s no real plot here. You look up episodic in the dictionary and there’s the poster for this flick. Nothing ties together. All the cops are basically good guys with zero shades or dimensions to their characters.
We see them go out night after night, but all their encounters are boring as shit, some go on too long, and none are satisfactory in any way. If you’re going to make your flick episodic, with one little unconnected scene after another, at least make those scenes fucking interesting. But no, you get the most rote shit: an arguing couple, a petty thief, hookers trying to score, etc. This shit has been done to death.
The only story to be found here is the truly awful side plot about how Stacy Keach’s wife, played by the great Jane Alexander, is frustrated with his hours and job as a cop (gee, I wonder if she’s going to leave him in the second act?).
BARF!
Fuck me! WHO FUCKING CARES!? It’s so stupid, so poorly written, like the rest of this abortion of a flick.
Things happen that make no sense, have no setup, no resolution, and then the movie does ambiguous time jumps where all this character development supposedly took place, we just never get to see it. Like when Keach gets shot in the stomach and things are not looking good, his wife is upset, worried, then we cut and suddenly he’s back to normal, no ill effects, working his beat like nothing happened.
It’s so stupid.
Or how about when Scott’s character, Kilvinski, finally retires from the force, seems happy to get to spend time with his grandkids, though is somewhat sad about leaving the fellas.
If you can’t tell, I’m rolling my eyes here.
He leaves, and then returns about a half hour later under the guise of just wanting to see the fellas and catch up, which then leads to him in a hotel room sticking a gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. WHAT?! Moronic shit. Yes, lots of cops do eat their gun, my father knew more than a few, but the way it is handled here is so lazy and slapdash. There could have been a great story here if anyone was interested in character development instead of a series of one off scenes that tell you nothing.
Later on, Keach is suddenly an alkie, drinking on the job, hiding bottles of booze in the squad car, and then a few scenes later, he’s not an alkie anymore, and winds up shacking up with some black nurse?
And then, Keach gets shot again, dies on the spot, and the movie ends. The tone of this flick is all over the place in the worst way possible. It tries to flirt with the darker elements of police work, but in such a ham fisted, goofy way it’s just laughably bad. The movie just got worse and worse as it went on, with that dumb ending being the coup de grace.
I only got through this film because of you, dear reader. I would have taken it off after a half an hour once I saw it was going nowhere and how much that black hole of screen presence, Keach, was featured.
Film makes it seem like Scott is a co-star, but he’s not, he’s only in like half the flick, maybe. Keach is in almost every scene, and he stinks. Again, amazing to think the suits at the time were pushing this fucking guy as the new hot movie star. He’s got a cleft palette for crying out loud! And don’t give me that Joaquin Phoenix bullshit, that dude is a great character actor, he’s not a leading man who gets leading man roles, he gets the weird shit, cause he looks fucking weird. Keach has a good blue collar look, but that’s about it.
Avoid this fucking movie like the plague. There’s literally not one thing to recommend about it. And don’t even get me started on Quincy Jones’ awful, awful score. Some 70’s scores have dope sounds even if they are very much of their time. Not here. The movie sucks, music or no music, but great music can really help paper over some of that shittiness. Quincy Jones papered over nothing. His music helps sink what was already a water logged piece of dog shit.
Fuck. This. Movie.
The One Sheet
Not a bad one sheet. Tries to sell it on the fact it’s based on a book by a cop.
Ok.
Whatever.
I guess that explains the episodic nature of the movie, though that’s no excuse for the screenwriter to not craft this into a compelling cinematic narrative. The poster promises excitement and drama, neither of which are anywhere to be found when you actually watch this.
This poster for the Asian market is interesting, but like the past poster, promises a film that does not exist.
And that does it for the 1ST 5 Minutes of the crap-tastic, The New Centurions, a truly execrable film that wastes the prodigious talents of its cast. No idea what George C. was thinking here. He read this script and thought it’d make a good performance and film?
Really?
Or was this more of a Michael Caine doing Jaws: The Revenge so he could buy a new house? I guess we’ll never know.
See you in two shitty cliches…