THOR: RAGNAROK (2017)
"I didn't hear any thunder, but out of your fingers... was that sparkles?"
Director: Taika Waititi
Writers: Eric Pearson, Craig Kyle, Christopher L. Yost
Cinematography: Javier Aguirresarobe
Editors: Zene Baker, Joel Negron
Music: Mark Mothersbaugh
Notable Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Jeff Goldblum, Cate Blanchett, Mark Ruffalo, Idris Elba, Tessa Thompson, Anthony Hopkins, Benedict Cumberbatch, Karl Urban, Taiki Waititi, Clancy Brown
As a child of the 70’s and 80’s, I grew up with Bill Bixby and his amazing green “Hulk eyes” on my TV every week. Hard to put into words what that show meant to me back then. I was obsessed, from the iconic opening credits with that fucking theme music, to the two times he’d turn into the Hulk, on average, each episode, I could not get enough. When someone would fuck with him and he’d give us those green eyes with that music sting, GODDAMN! It simply does not get any better for an 8 year old boy. While most episodes fade in memory, two in particular always stuck with me. One episode, can’t remember why, Bixby gets stuck mid-transformation between Banner and Hulk. It was scary seeing Bixby with those prosthetics.
The other episode featured an Old Hulk, played by the Swamp Thing himself, the great Dick Durock, which to this day scares the shit out of me when I think about it.
And because of this love for the Hulk that was formed at a young age, he, along with Spider-Man (probably due to his presence on The Electric Company), became the only Marvel heroes I gave a shit about.
I remember being pumped when it was announced Ang Lee would be directing a fucking modern day Hulk movie! And then it was terrible, with Hulk dogs, cheesy transitions and comic book panel type shit meant to gussy up a truly boring, flaccid turd. Though I did dig the great Nick Nolte as Absorbing Man in the third act. Nick Nolte is such a fantastic actor, he even brightens pieces of shit.
Then came that Ed Norton shit show, which somehow was even worse than the Ang Lee joint. Clearly, filmmakers were clueless how to handle the Hulk. But wait a minute, why the fuck do I keep going on about the Hulk, I thought we were here to talk about Thor? Ok, so let’s talk about Thor.
I have never read a Thor comic. I have never seen the first Thor movie, released in 2011. I have never seen the second Thor, released in 2013. I half slept through an Avengers movie, I think, not sure which one. All I remember is Hulk grabbing some fop by the ankle and slamming him around to thunderous laughter.
Aside from Spider-Man and the Hulk, I’ve always been a DC guy. Which isn’t to say the DC movies have been any good, they haven’t. Somehow, they’re even worse than the Marvel slop, a true feat. I stopped watching the Spider-Man movies after the Venom one with Topher Grace. Those fuckers won’t fool me again. In fact, before the movie we’re here to discuss today, the best Marvel movie was fucking Blade way back in 1998! No, not Blade II, that movie fucking sucked. I’m talking the original Stephen Norrington Blade. But even though it originated in the comic books, Blade just doesn’t strike me as a superhero movie.
All of this is a long way of saying modern day superhero movies suck. They all follow the same bullshit formula, with the same emotional beats, and pretty much the same plots. They’re all still trying to ape the brilliance of Richard Donner’s Superman: The Movie, and failing. Donner didn’t make a superhero movie, he made an adult drama that happened to feature a superhero. And he treated it with a gravitas that enhanced the verisimilitude he was aiming for. No superhero movie since has even approached the genius that Donner put to film way back when in the 1970’s.
There’s been a lot of nostalgia recently for the first Keaton Batman flick, which was released 25 years ago, and yeah, I guess compared to the shit they serve up now it wasn’t too bad, but it still kinda sucks, and what’s weird is, even back then, as a 14 year old whose excitement was at a fever pitch, I knew the movie was a complete letdown.
But do you know what both Donner’s Superman and Burton’s Batman did have? Stellar orchestral scores that were not only iconic when first released, but have stood the test of time as not only two of the best superhero scores ever, but two of the best film scores, period! The superhero flicks nowadays have the most generic, forgettable scores. Or in the case of the Guardians of the Galaxy, shitty, annoying rock soundtracks. I’m not joking, can you even remember one theme from The Avengers? Or Captain America? Or Iron Man? Or Man of Steel? Or Justice League? The answer is you do not. Now, I won’t claim Thor: Ragnarok has some super memorable theme, but Mark Mothersbaugh’s music is singular and absolutely perfect for this film. Has some nice electronic overtones that feels fresh for a movie like this.
But I honestly would have had next to no interest in this film save two things, okay, maybe three. First, the Hulk was featured in it, and they were going to use elements of the Planet Hulk comic series. I’ve been dying for a good Hulk centered flick, and it seemed this was my best opportunity.
Second, the production design of the junk planet Sakaar was mouthwatering for anyone who is a fan of Jack Kirby or Silver Age comics.
Third, Taika Waititi. At least at the time, I thought the dude was a genius. What We Do In The Shadows is one of the best films I have ever seen. Endlessly inventive and hilarious. When I found out he was the filmmaker behind this my interest was immediately piqued.
Turned out my instincts were right, and Waititi delivered easily the best comic book movie since Blade and probably since Altman’s Popeye. Thor: Ragnarok has to be one of the most entertaining movies I have ever seen, from the acting to the writing to the music to the direction to the art design, this movie delivers. Even the Hela sequences, which kind of take the air out of the film, can’t detract from the genius on display. With high expectations going in, they were met and exceeded. Not easy.
But I can feel all of you asking that most important of questions… how were the 1ST 5 Minutes?
1ST 5 MINUTES
They immediately flirt with but never cross over into breaking the fourth wall, by having Thor narrate out loud, in real time, what got him stuck in a cage in some hellscape. A perfect capsule summary to help those of us who don’t line up like cattle feeding at the trough for any and all superhero slop. And Thor’s dialogue, with Chris Hemsworth’s delivery… damn, you’re immediately smiling. THIS is what I need. Sure, I enjoy dark, dour movies, but superhero flicks should be light and fun and thrilling and weird and ENTERTAINING! Just fucking entertain me. Is that too much to ask? Immediately this film feels different.
Chris Hemsworth is a great actor. Not sure how his range is, as I’ve only seen him in this and Michael Mann’s subpar Blackhat, but he was great in both, giving two very, very different performances. I gotta say, I love the tone Waititi went with, and the fact Hemsworth is so game with his comic skillset. This opening scene is hilarious, with him hanging from the chain and then interrupting the gigantic demon’s tall tales of destruction to ask him to wait till he swings back around. It’s fucking hilarious. And even funnier the second time when they really commit to the bit.
They’re talking about some plan to destroy Thor’s homeworld or something. You know, the usual. But because of the tone and witty way Thor plays off of the demon, Surtur, it feels fresh, not stale like the rest. And the effects are amazing. Surtur looks fantastic. Check that close-up shot of his fiery sword being dragged on the stone floor. Insanely good effects work. Super photorealistic. Love it. And that he’s played by the great Clancy Brown… choice casting
Thor regains his trusty hammer by opening his bound hand and “calling” for it. Apparently, only Thor can actually wield this hammer, it’s too heavy for anyone else to lift or even budge an inch. So, who took the hammer from Thor before he was locked up? Best not to think too hard about details like this or the whole enterprise comes crashing down.
With his hammer in hand, Thor breaks free just as Surtur’s dragon and demonic henchmen close in on him, leading to a dramatic fight that begins just as the 1ST 5 ends, scored to none other than Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song! Totally unexpected and inspired use of a classic rock tune in a dimension spanning sci-fi superhero movie (which re-appears in the last act to equally great effect).
I don’t know about you, your tolerance for lightness and comedy and general campiness in your superhero fare may vary, but to me, it’s like, FINALLY! A superhero movie that is FUN and not dour and maudlin and drenched in darkness. I loved the dark shit when I was younger, but now as an adult and father, I dig the lighter touch.
This is a fantastic 1ST 5, it sets the whole plot in motion, has fantastic production and creature design, immersive special effects, and laugh out loud dialogue exchanges, led by the very capable and very funny, Chris Hemsworth. This guy has got some serious comedic timing. How the fuck are you taking this movie off? If you hate a good time, sure, I guess, why not, but if you like to laugh and enjoy yourself, you’d be hard pressed to find a better flick to do just that.
The rest of the flick
The culmination of the battle with Surtur and his demon minions is quite satisfying, as is the introduction of Karl Urban as Skurge, in a hilarious bit trying to impress two Asgardian women with all the shit he’s collected from the nine realms, including a shake weight. There are those who would cringe and roll their eyes at this kind of goofiness, I am not one of those people. I LOVE THIS SHIT!
As Thor is pursued by Surtur’s dragon creature, we get my Favorite Shot in the whole movie, when they briefly cut to a wide shot of the dragon tailing Thor, who uses his hammer to achieve flight. The production design and effects work here are exemplary, it looks incredibly real and atmospheric and DOPE! Almost like a painting come to life. This movie has style to spare, and I am absolutely here for it.
Look, I love a lot about this movie, even if I am confused in the beginning having not seen all the movies that led up to this. I’m clueless about the Loki shit, or Odin shit, or the relationship dynamics therein. All I know is when I watch this, I am enjoying myself, and I am laughing.
Take the scene with Dr. Strange, played by Benedict Cumberbatch. He’s some kind of magician or wizard or some shit, who the fuck knows, but the dialogue and the editing here are top notch, love how Strange keeps teleporting Thor, who gets increasingly dazed by the shifting realities. Also love the way he refills his beer mug.
Odin eventually dies, which I guess is a big deal, and then Thor’s sister, Hela, comes back to start trouble, you know, the usual “I’m going to destroy your homeworld” shit. Played by Cate Blanchett, Hela is… whatever. I like the effect when she puts her hands through her hair to create that spiky headdress. And I like Skurge’s character arc from bumbling fool to right hand man to somewhat savior of his people. But whenever the film cuts back to Hela, the flick loses some steam. It’s not tonally off, it’s just the film is not nearly as good whenever Hulk, Loki, or Thor is absent, which they are for the majority of the Hela scenes. It doesn’t wreck the movie, but it definitely holds it back.
Especially when it is contrasted with the meat of the film, which takes place on the planet Sakaar, ruled by the great Jeff Goldblum’s hilariously evil Grandmaster. Once Thor lands here, and is taken prisoner by Tessa Thompson’s Valkyrie (love the shot of all the Valkyrie fighting Hela in a flashback later on, just a gorgeous, painterly image), the movie really takes off to another level. Up to this point, the film was good. But the Sakaar shit brings it to near genius level.
I love the “orientation” movie they show Thor right before they reveal the Grandmaster, who was “the first lost and the first found.” Sakaar is basically a trash heap in space, a place where lots of vortices and wormholes empty out. The production design of the planet is remarkable. A real feast for fans of Silver Age comics and the great Jack Kirby. And the colors! I love the technicolor nature of the planet. The photography and color timing for this entire Sakaar sequence is a revelation. This flick LOOKS fantastic. Some of the best design work I’ve EVER seen in a film.
And the laughs just keep coming. There is not one boring or uninteresting thing that happens on Sakaar. All the actors here bring their A game, and have never been better. Love the introduction of the rock creature, Korg, voiced by the director, Taika Waititi, in another fantastically hilarious performance. Korg’s very tough and rough appearance in contrast to his soft voice is great. Waititi is hilarious as Korg and gets some of the best laugh lines in the film. Always dicey when a director inserts himself, but Waititi is so accomplished as an actor in his own right, the flick never skips a beat, and I can’t imagine any other voice actor doing such a good job with Korg.
And speaking of good jobs, this film presents the absolute best cinematic depiction of the incredible Hulk. Thor and Hulk’s chemistry, courtesy of Hemsworth and the great Mark Ruffalo, is next level. Which is why my Favorite Scene is obviously their big gladiator fight that is the centerpiece of the film. A perfectly deft combination of action, humor, effects, and performance (and lens flares galore! LOVE!).
It’s insanely satisfying when Thor sees the Grandmaster’s fierce Champion is none other than the Hulk. And naturally, cause it’s his movie, Thor gets my Favorite Line in the whole movie, after he sees his opponent is the Hulk and looks up to where the Grandmaster and Loki are sitting and screams, “He’s a friend from work.” Amazing. The way this movie so effortlessly combines the fantastical with the mundane is one of its greatest strengths.
I usually hate when people describe shit as “fun.” “Oh, it’s so fun, isn’t it!?” Ugh, hate that shit. But you know what? Fuck it, this movie is FUN with a capital motherfucking F. The entire fight with the Hulk is thrilling and hilarious, ending with Thor suddenly having lightning eyes and the Grandmaster intervening so his champion will win despite obviously losing. One of my favorite shots in the film is when Valkyrie is sitting at the top of the stadium, watching the fight, Hulk leaps high into the air to give Thor the final blow, and from the top of the stadium we just see him briefly enter the frame and then descend again out of frame. Such a beautiful moment.
The subsequent interactions between Thor and Hulk post fight are equally hilarious. A real highlight for me is when Hulk refers to Thor as “Baby Arms.” Eventually, Thor decides on a plan of escape, of course, and Hulk eventually turns back to Banner/Ruffalo (love the pain and torment and struggle between Hulk and Banner, really well done), and we get more fantastic chemistry between Hemsworth and Ruffalo as Thor tries to calm Banner down, who is having a near panic attack at being stranded on a strange planet while struggling with the fact he was Hulk for what seems like years? It’s amazing.
Eventually they, along with Valkyrie, Korg and Loki return to Asgard to defeat Hela, with the help of the great Idris Elba’s Heimdall (love Elba, but he is totally wasted here in a nothing role). This whole end fight is okay, nothing bad, but nothing particularly great either. Again, all the action is on Sakaar, whenever we’re not there, the movie stumbles a bit. Nothing that detracts from the film as a whole. Far from it. But the Sakaar stuff is SO GOOD, on so many different levels, everything else pales in comparison.
And despite Sakaar’s absence in the 1ST 5 Minutes of the flick, everything you need to know about this movie’s greatness and hilarity and insanely good effects and art design are present in those 1ST 5. And it all starts with Waititi and Hemsworth, who are totally in sync as they bring the thunder, no pun intended.
The One Sheet
The official one sheet for this flick is phenomenal. Probably one of the best posters we’ve featured here, both for the graphic design as well as connoting what kind of movie you’re about to see. While it doesn’t allude to how humorous the film is, it definitely shows that it is action packed and colorful as all hell, incorporating all the major players as well as the Kirby inspired design of Sakaar.
They simply do not get better than this. Kudos to the marketing folks, they hit this one out of the park.
The foreign posters aren’t bad, they all feature some variation on this layout. Not terrible, but nowhere near as good as the original U.S. one sheet.
They also made a shit ton of character posters for this film, much like Drug War, too many to include here, mainly cause none of them are that interesting graphically. They’re actually pretty lazy from where I sit. If curious, follow this link to all of those.
And this last poster, I’m not even sure if it was official or not, but I dig the style and solar color scheme. You don’t often see one sheets like this for major blockbusters, so it’s notable if only in that regard. But again, hard to tell if this was ever used or is a fan creation. Dope, nonetheless.
And that does it for Thor: Ragnarok, one of the very best superhero flicks ever, and one of the best movies of the 2010s, period. An absolute knockout, rollicking good time. Hard to blame them for trying to make lightning strike twice, but easy to blame them for being lazy, gluttonous pieces of shit by foisting the truly execrable Thor: Love and Thunder on unsuspecting audiences.
You know how your photocopy machine will start running low on toner, and copies will start looking like shit, and become illegible? That’s what Thor: Love and Thunder is to Thor: Ragnarok, a truly shitty photocopy of a great film. It’s mind boggling how the same team could produce such an awful, boring film. No Hulk? No Grandmaster? NO DICE!
And then to try and shoehorn Russell Crowe in as the Grandmaster of this film, what were they thinking? All the Zeus shit falls deadly flat, dumb and unfunny, along with the rest of the film. Completely uninspired slop. A cash grab. And a fucking insult. Embarrassing, really. Not sure if Waititi should be in director jail for this abortion, but he’s close. Love and Thunder was THAT bad. One of the worst sequels ever made, and yes, I’ve seen Highlander 2: The Quickening.
But I don’t subscribe to the theory that bad sequels mitigate the greatness of the film that preceded them. Taken is still a great film despite shitty sequels, and the same holds for Thor: Ragnarok, a truly great film, and one of the best comic book flicks made in film history. And you knew it right away with those 1ST 5 Minutes.
See you in two Infinity Stones…